Monday, September 26, 2005

Unwitting Cupid

I have an unusual gift.
Date me for more than a month,
and your next boyfriend will be the one you truly fall for.
I’m the last toad you kiss before you find your prince.
(I’m thinking about marketing my services)

Monday, September 12, 2005

Unbecoming of age.

It was my 19th birthday, I was having a joint party with my best friend, at his house. The party goes well - with the prospect of entanglement with J. towards the end of the night-– an untouchable girl I'’d been chasing for months.
Then someone runs through the house spraying a chemical fire extinguisher. This makes the host unhappy. While cleaning this up, he finds raw eggs down the back of the television set. He quietly goes outside, pulls the fuses out of the box, and locks the doors as we wander out in the darkness to see what's happening.
I'm locked out of my own birthday.
Untouchable girl drives me back to my place, and I do what any red-blooded boy in search of a shag would do...

I burst into tears.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Grim dinner.

I don’t cook much. What I do is more accurately described as defrosting, charring or reheating. Namely because I live alone, spend a lot of my time out and am quite content with grilled vegemite & cheese on toast at most the times I am home.
But I still have limits.
I went to a friend’s place last night – dinnertime, 2 kids under 4, during discussion about how to cook lamb chops for the kids’ dinner, and she says, “we could boil them?” Conversation stopped, and we all waited to see if she was joking.
She wasn’t...

Maybe this is where shes getting her tips: