Sketchy (mostly wrong) theories I won't tell people about.

• More girls in their late 30s like rough sex because it's a coping mechanism for non-committal boys (or maybe they're just more honest) 
• Raised moles mean you're a bit of a sexual deviate.
• Pretty much everyone with a digital camera has nude photos of themselves.
• That girls on a backpacking holiday are greater conquistadors than boys doing the same thing.
• That eastern European girls are mostly a bit crazy.
• Fat girls like sex more, and not because they're desperate.
• That the meekness of Asian girls is too often a façade and should be dispensed with.
• That American girls really do give the best head (blowjobs 101?)
• That Cosmo's 'Hot Sex Tips' really do bore pretty much everyone.
• Brazilians are obnoxious (never trust someone that takes a drum to the beach)

Chop Chopped

I had a vasectomy 4 days ago.

It's been mostly uneventful.

The nurse was very cute - and I was a worried about getting a twinge as she shaved my balls. But better her than the surgeon. Pavlov would have a lot to answer for if that had happened.

The doctor said 'little prick' as I was given the local anaesthetic. I assume he was referring to the needle.

Apparently I have 'good anatomy'. Whether this is in a medical sense, or just aesthetic, he didn't say.

It's not the sort of thing you bring up in conversation, so I've been mentioning that I just have a sore back to explain my walking like Tonto.

I usually sleep on my stomach - which squashes my nuts - which is not good. So I've been sleeping on my side.

There is one stitch on each side. I don't think i'll be getting a genital piercing any time soon.

I jerked off for the first time today - everything still in working order.

I need 10-15 loads let loose to clear the pipes. Then a 3 month wait before a formal pathology report.

I've had no second thoughts. It's quite a relief really. 

Now to work out what to do with all the spare time for the rest of my life.

I've updated my online dating profile to be fairly upfront about this - no point being deceptive.

Judgement

People with lots of gum showing above their teeth when they smile freak me out.

Nutjob

I bought a pair of clippers a couple of years ago when I started the life drawing gig.

They're fab - quick and easy. But take some getting used to.

I realised that shaving the treasure trail looks odd, and that going too short just looks strange - plus you have to grade into the leg hair.

(I shaved my legs when I was in my 20s and racing mountain bikes, but no more - at 6'6" there's too much acreage to cover)

But this time - I left off the #2 comb I usually use, and ground a bare blade into my nuts. Causing minor, but painful damage.

Pay careful attention when using electrical/mechanical devices on your bits.

Madness

A vasectomy is not a pre-existing condition!

It took me 3 hours on the phone to my health provider and hospital to convince them that I didn't need a signed certificate from my gp AND my surgeon for this.

The lack of communication between agencies is bewildering.

As is their ability to pass the buck.

HBA - I'm talking to you.

Fondled

I was felt up by a middle aged man this week.

I paid $200 for the privilege.

He was the urologist I'm seeing for the vasectomy.

I wondered how much money it would take me to fondle another man.

Was the $200 for the skill or the dirty job?

I guess once you've done it the first time...

There was 2 options - local or general anaesthetic. Apparently it comes down to nut sensitivity. Some boys squirm and giggle (his words).

Which would be embarrassing.

I was also worried about having a bit of movement. Pavlovian conditioning and all.

Stop Thinking

I've been trapped in endless handwringing discussions with girls I know over the meaning of a text or email from a boy they're smitten with. We usually don't think that much. Especially over the semantics of "see you later". I have the luxury of not really caring (?) about the people I'm dating at the moment. At least not this obsessive extent.

There also seems to be an excessive passivity amongst the girls I know. "If he really likes me, he'll call me". God - He might not know if he likes you after the very first date. Don't just sit silently if you like a guy. He might be as clueless as me.